My Fellow Nigerians!
I’m here today to tell you that I have decided to run for re-election. This ends months of speculation about whether I’ll seek a second term. I’m sure my decision to run at 75, growing criticism of my performance, my five months stay in the UK to treat undisclosed ailment, the uncertainty, and fear in the nation, you’ll expect me to retire to Daura. The opposite is true: I’m responding to the clamor by Nigerians to seek a second term.
First and foremost, let me express my profound gratitude for your unprecedented level of patience shown me in the past three years. Nigerians have never been so generous to show such level of patience and tolerance for any of our past leaders known for their incompetence.
Let my record speak for me. Cast your votes for me based on my record. For the past three years, my administration has been plagued with failures, crises, and chaos across every socioeconomic and political sectors. I must humbly admit that the likes have never been seen before. Within a year that I took office, the economy which had till then grown at an average of 7% in previous years (2011-2014) nosedived into recession. Naira, our currency, has lost 70% of its value. Food prices tripled across the nation. Unemployment rose from 6.5 to 26%. Petroleum prices at the pump jumped to 67%.
I have not kept my campaign promises. The two million jobs every year is a flat out lie. The two million housing units every year is a ruse. Restructure is a ploy. Infrastructure is a mirage. Electricity supply is erratic, unavailable and worse than before. In fact, Nigerians now pay more for darkness than for light. On health, nothing new is happening. Indeed, our hospitals have been certified and approved for non-humans. Safety and security in the land is zero. Boko Haram remains stronger, more dangerous, more unpredictable, and unconquerable. The war against Boko Haram is unwinnable. I have since given up. I’m afraid, the Chibok girls are lost for ever.
A year ago, I declared victory on war against corruption. Apart from the occasional harassment and media trial on front pages of newspapers, none of the sharks and whales of corruption has been jailed. Under my watch, government waste is on the rise. Members of my kitchen cabinet particularly the ones close to me at Aso Rock who were caught in the twin cobweb of greed and graft were swiftly excused by me. It’s on record that the 2016 Budget year was passed without implementation. You may not know this: The Central Bank foreign reserves are being shared among some highly connected and favored Bureau De Change operators.
I realize that I’m very unpopular for my history of bigotry, nepotism, dictatorial tendencies, scary and strange policies. In this regard, I’m sincerely grateful for the support given me by my ardent supporters and loyalists – the Buharists – who eagerly and always shield me from personal attacks by raking up all sorts of excuses at all times by blaming the Jonathan administration, political opponents, political appointees, and the late Libyan President Qaddafi, anything and anybody except me.
My fellow Nigerians, remember it took me three months to appoint my Chief of Staff, six months to form a cabinet, and more than 23 months to appoint heads of agencies and board members. I promise I will do it all over again in my second term. This is why I’m running. This is why you must re-elect me. This is how I’ll take you to the next level. May Nigeria succeed.
And God bless Nigeria!