By Bayo Oluwasanmi
To My Friend BJ:
I hope you are all having fun and frolicking. Everything is passing by so quickly. The summer months are gone. Winter is here! And everything already feels different.
I am writing to break the good news to you that my country- Mumusville- crowned its first Emperor yesterday. The new Emperor is none other than the flamboyant, loquacious, intrepid, and enigmatic drug lord Bob Andy Tate fondly called BAT by his friends and admirers. The 120-year-old BAT is a magnetic personality full of magical abilities. My country of Mumusville is a country of no place and a good place. The country is made up of loose states of different nationalities grouped together in the shape of a semicolon in the Atlantic Ocean.
Mumusville is a country where no good soul may enter. It’s a place where citizens have escaped reality. There’s nothing impossible in this land because it is stress-free, worry-free, hate free, peaceful, and prosperous. Everybody here shows love in abundance. People frolic in this wondrous country with joy and happiness. It’s a safe and secure country where there’s no loneliness and a place no one is scared. It’s a country that makes reality look like hell.
Citizens of Mumusville are sick and tired of the old brigade of thieves who run the country as a banana republic. BAT who is a magician of international repute offers himself to be the first Emperor. He believes he’s the only person that can turn Mumusville around. A few days before the coronation, BAT was anointed and canonized as Father Abraham. Opposition to his coronation was deafening. The parody was brutal. The caricature was nasty.
The coronation of Emperor BAT took place at the Great Hall of the People in Bullion Square, Mumusville. The imperial regalia was kept in the CBN vault. As the ceremony inches to commencement, Emperor BAT’s face gradually became more distorted and horrific. His skin was pale and cold. He looked fatigued and sleep-deprived. His robes and beads fall naturally on his body which is positioned uncontrollably straight. His face void of any life, and a body dressed up like a doll. The crown on the new Emperor is a twisted, grotesque human skull and the background literally drips with blood.
The caricature showing procession was headed by the imperial mafia family of drug barons followed by sea pirates, embezzlers, kidnappers, thugs, hooligans, touts, rapists, thieves, hired assassins, and other notorious men of the underworld. It was a spectacle. The coronation showcased a tangle of modernism and barbarity. Two things stood out from the coronation: the coronation reflects the incongruity of the spectacle of madness in the country of Mumusville. The coronation defines the character of the new Emperor- truth was stranger than the lies fed to the people of Mumusville by the propagandists of the new Emperor.
Meanwhile, Mumusville and its citizens are still in a festive mood of frenzy celebration. I will keep you posted on any breaking news about our new Emperor.
Until next time…Take care of yourself and God bless!